


Fall Line

by ZutAlors



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-26
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2017-11-22 11:52:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/609534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZutAlors/pseuds/ZutAlors
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katniss has only ever wanted Prim to breathe freely. Peeta has only ever wanted someone who can love as strongly as he can. AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story is dedicated to a childhood friend who passed away from complications with cystic fibrosis. I wish she were able to live the life she deserved to live.

  


Katniss mostly remembers blue eyes from Prim's summer stay in the hospital.

It was her only true scare, and everything from the rush of the ambulance ( _let us do our job! let us help your sister!_ ) from the ER are mostly a blur in her mind. She remembers vaguely Prim entering into stable condition, moved out of the ICU and then into a recovery room with a boy Katniss's age. She didn't pay him much mind besides a quick hello and goodbye and the beginning and end of the day, and all but blocked him out when she sang to Prim before she left each night.

She remembers quite clearly thinking about how he didn't know her pain, Prim's pain, and how she wished so much that he'd stop staring at her every day. She didn't want the pity for her or her sister. He was ignorant to all that they had to suffer through.

So when Katniss realized how the boy had all but destroyed his leg, she wanted to throw up. She wanted to cry and scream and hit whoever was close enough. But most of all, she wanted his eyes off of her. 

 

… 

 

She knows his name is Peeta because of Prim.

Prim likes to tell her how sweet the boy is when it's just them in the morning, how he tells her stories about the bakery his parents own, and how he hopes one day he can bake her a cookie frosted with primroses, just for her.

Katniss simply looks over at the boy with the bed next to Prim, and he looks away then. Prim is unembarrassed to sing his praises with him just a few feet away, too sweet and young to think twice about it. Of course, it's not like they can discuss him when he is away, because he never leaves the room. He never has any visitors. She supposes that his friends are too busy with summer camp and his parents are running his bakery that Prim seems so enchanted by. Katniss never thinks twice about the boy, she is sure he will be in and out, and this visit and his injury will simply be a story to laugh about in his vacation house ten years from now.

 

...

 

It's a few days later when she comes to the hospital halfway through the day, breaking her week-long tradition of running down the doors as soon as they open and being practically dragged from Prim's side by the nurses. The door is shut, contrary to how Prim prefers it, open for any visitor to stop by. She walks to the end of the hall, Prim's room is the very last one, and is surprised to hear the yelling coming from the thin walls.

_"You stupid boy!"_ yells a shrill voice. It doesn't take Katniss long to figure out the voice is yelling a Peeta, the silent, staring boy in the bed next to her sister.  _"How could you let him drive? What are we going to do? You'll never get that scholarship now- you're useless. You might as well cut off that leg, it'll do you no good!"_

Katniss cringes at the words, harsh against her ears. When she hears footsteps heading towards the door, she tries her best to look uninterested, though she realizes quickly it is no matter. The tall, blonde woman pays her no mind and she heads towards the opposite direction of the room after slamming the door quickly behind her.

As she peeks the door open, she first realizes Prim is absent from her bed- Rory probably stopped by with Gale to push her around in her wheelchair and make a ruckus about the halls. She then looks at Peeta, and he stares at her fully, tears in his eyes and on his cheeks, unabashed to show the emotion most sixteen year old boys would ashamed of recognizing.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she says quickly, backing up to make her way out of the door.

"Wait!"

She stops in her tracks and looks at the boy, carefully rubbing the tear marks away from he cheeks with the back of his good hand, the other still bandaged from when he first arrived in the room not long after Prim. He sniffles a bit, and then makes a motion for her to come over to his bedside.

Katniss hesitates a moment, and then obliges him, unable to break eye contact with him. She walks over and kneels at his bedside, so they are level.

"I'm Peeta," he says, and he laughs a bit, perhaps realizing he absurdity of introducing himself to a person who clearly knows who he is.

"Katniss," she offers him, humoring him really. She's sure he knows who he is.

"I know," he pauses. He finally looks away. "You have a beautiful voice."

The shock she feels is sure to also register on her face, most likely in the form of a blush. She had tried so hard to forget about him there, in that bed, so sure he had no idea what her or her sister could possibly be feeling, how badly they could possibly be suffering. It's this that makes her realize that he did not simply fall off his expensive ATV in the backwoods of Pennsylvania. She still hears the ring from the yelling in her ears, and she knows it is her turn to ask.

"Why are you here?" she demands. She expects his answer to be a worthy one, one that implies that he knows how unfair everything is, how inescapable the life she is living is. What she demands of him is that he understands the suffering and the pain she can barely even comprehend, something that she put past him in the days before.

He sighs, crosses his arms, then uncrosses them. She thinks it is his bandages, what she thinks are flesh wounds underneath them. She grabs his uninjured hand and holds in lightly, comforting him like she would Prim. He looks at her in awe. He has eyes like Prim, blue and wide and clear. He looks at her like a miracle worker.

"My dad was driving me and my brothers home from a wrestling competition. It was mine. My brothers came to cheer me on. My mother wanted us home by Monday so we could help with the bakery, so we left Sunday night. I didn't really realize how tired my father way, I guess. We drove off the road. I lived."

He didn't need to finish the rest. She understands where his brothers and father are now. The same place her father is, taken by something that has no mercy on people like them.

"That was your mom?" She asks. She feels the coldness of that woman's march down the hall. He nods. "I'm sorry," she offers. It's all she can give. She gives everything to Prim and she's lucky if there's anything left for herself or Gale or her mother.

"I'm sorry about Prim. She's too good."

Apologies and condolences about her sister usually put her on edge. She doesn't like people pitying her strong, sweet sister. She doesn't need their _sorry!_  or  _how terrible!_  or  _what a shame!_ But Peeta's words are not pity, they are understanding. Peeta is the same as Prim, and because of that, she wants to fall over, right then. This boy has been ripped from something like Katniss had, like Prim had, like her mother had, Katniss grudgingly admits.

He stares again for a while, and she feels as if he is looking right down into her and understand something that is just out of her reach. She leaves then, saying she has to go find Prim, and when she returns later, he is gone.

She does not see him again for nine years.


	2. Part One

Katniss was in a hurry. 

 

Her train back into the city was fifteen minutes late, and on top of that, she missed her original train. She _knew_ she shouldn't of stayed that extra ten minutes with Prim to finish the movie, but that girl can talk her into anything, and who knows when she'll see her next. 

 

Gale and Madge won't be at her apartment until seven, and it's only just six. Katniss has time- she only has to stick the lasagna she made last night back in the oven to warm it up. She knows she won't have time to stop at the grocery store for the bread she wants to serve with dinner, it's three blocks in the opposite direction of her apartment, but she thinks she remembers a bakery pretty close to the train station. 

 

Sure enough, when she opens up the glass doors leading out of the station, she's staring down a bakery. 

 

Katniss tears across the street, slipping easily between the bumper to bumper traffic, and pushing away the stray locks of hair away that escaped her braid. She's so focused on getting there, she doesn't even notice a the man standing at the door to the building just as she touches the handle. 

 

She looks up to clear, blue eyes. 

 

"Oh!" she says, not sure if the man on the other side can hear her. He laughs though, muffled by the glass, and she supposes her facial expression is quite amusing. A sign obscuring the top of the man's shoulder in the glass door reads "CLOSED." 

 

"I'm sorry!" she says a little louder, feeling especially awkward talking through a glass door to this man, who she presumes is leaving work. "I just needed some bread, I didn't know you were closed!" 

 

The man laughs again, and his eyes crinkle just around the edges in amusement. He opens the door, and she smells brown sugar and fresh bread. 

 

"Oh, just come in, I only just flipped the sign. I think we have a few loaves left- I was just going to mark them down for tomorrow." He holds the door just long enough for her to get in, then trailing off, not really speaking to her at all. He disappears into a back room, after slipping behind the refrigerated pastry display cases in the front. The bakery is cleared out; obviously he had packed up for the night, and Katniss feels bad that she is keeping him. He reappears quickly with two loaves of bread in his hand.  

 

"I have a French baguette and rye. I'm guessing you don't want rye. Sorry for the lack of selection- people usually buy us out on Sundays, family dinners and all." 

 

She really just wanted one of those "Italian" pre-sliced breads from the grocery store down the street, but Katniss knows Gale can't tell pumpernickel from pumpkin bread, and Madge really doesn't care. That girl will eat anything.

 

"French bread is fine with me, how much do I owe you?" Katniss doesn't mean to rush this man, he seems perfectly nice and all, but she really has to get home. Madge will probably force Gale to get there ten minutes early like usual, and she has at least a fifteen minute walk to her apartment. 

 

"It's free," says the man. "Not worth marking down bread if we only have two loaves left. You look like you're in a hurry, anyway." 

 

Katniss narrows her brow, "I have to pay for it! I already came in after closing, anyway. Just take a five or something." 

 

The man is clearly amused by her insistence, "I'm not letting you pay me five dollars for bread. Really, just take it." 

 

"You're going to make me late if I have to argue with you!" 

 

"No, you're taking the bread," he says as he walks over to her, trying to force her to take it. She stubbornly refuses, crossing her arms across her chest. "This is ridiculous." 

 

"I'm paying for this bread!" Katniss punctuates her declaration with a stamp of her foot. She thinks she hears the man snort. 

 

"Fine, give me half price for it, then. One-fifty should do it." 

 

She rummages through her purse, coming up with three ones, "Take this, I'm paying fair." 

 

The man sighs, "I'm not making you late, so I'll take it, but that's the only reason!" He trades the bread for the bills, and she smiles widely at him. He hangs a crooked smile back at her. 

 

She looks back at she pushes the door open, "Thank you so much!" 

 

He smiles as the door closes. _You're welcome._

 

\--- 

 

Her hair has been unwoven from its braid and she's tossed her jacket on her worn out sofa. She stands barefoot at the counter as she cuts the long, French baguette. The lasagna is heating up in the oven, and she's put some marinara in a saucepan on the stove. As she cuts the bread, she absent-mindedly takes a bite of the end piece, her favorite part. 

 

It's delicious. 

 

She went to Paris once, with Prim and her mom after Prim begged for months, and this is what the bread tasted like. Crunchy on the outside, and soft on the inside. She can practically feel it melt on her tongue, and it's not stale like the French bread from the grocery store. It's the same type of bread she was eating as she laughed at Prim, who was convinced the Eiffel Tower was going to fall down. That man knows how to bake. 

 

\--- 

 

 _She’s even prettier than I remember,_ Peeta thinks the next day as he unlocks the door to the bakery. The sun is not up yet, and barely anyone is on the street, save for a few joggers and the people that are carried over when the night starts to melt back to day. He's never seen her in the bakery before- and he thinks he would, he's here almost every day. She's probably doesn’t even live in the city. She didn’t remember him.

 

He's always the first one at the bakery in the morning, he used to come down at opening with his dad to set up. The rest of the morning bakers will be here in a half hour, but Peeta likes to be the one to get everything ready. Sometimes he feels like he's the only one that can do it right, like it should be done.

 

Peeta sighs, admitting a defeat in a fight he didn't even know he was in, and moves to the kitchen. It's all stainless steel, top of the line equipment, renovated just before he was handed this business, but still takes a worn, dirty apron that's probably been in this kitchen for a decade. Mellark's don't replace things like that. 

 

By the time the bakery opens for the morning, he's made his mom's favorite cranberry bread, special for today. She's down south now, living with family, so she won't be having a slice. Peeta can't say that he misses her demanding personality or apparent inability to waste even a half cup of flour, but she's still his mother all the same. 

 

The regulars flood in, and he gives them coffee or muffins or a slice of the cranberry bread, accordingly. He should probably be in the back helping to bake, have one of his slower employees do the register, but it's one of those days when he thinks Mellark's Bakery should have a Mellark in the front, even if he's the only one still working there. 

 

By afternoon all the baking is done and he sends all but one of his bakers home, but when he doesn't get anyone through the door for two hours straight, he sends Delly home too. She doesn't look too disappointed, and Peeta is somewhat relieved he gets to just be by himself for a while.  

 

He's eating a cupcake and sketching a faceless girl with a long braid over one shoulder when he hears the bell over the door ring, and the door shut quickly after. He finishes the last wisp of hair, the one that just escaped her braid, laying by her cheek, and looks up. 

 

"You make really good bread," she says. 

 

Peeta smiles. 

 

\--- 

 

Dinner was disastrous. 

 

Gale shows up late, really late, and Madge doesn't show up at all. Katniss has poured herself a glass of wine and has her feet up on the coffee table as she watches some crime show. She gets a knock on her door at about nine and she figures it's Madge and Gale, and she expects an apology from the both of them, that they got "caught up in _something"_ and then Katniss will just laugh it off, or pretend to be grossed out, and make them eat cold lasagna. 

 

Instead, it's just Gale. 

 

She doesn't really know if he was drunk or not, she didn't smell beer or anything, but he certainly _looked_ intoxicated, and more than acted like it. Before she even closes the door behind him, he's got her by the shoulders saying, "God, Katniss, I'm so sorry," and "I never should've left you, it was a mistake, a bad one, you're _perfect,_ are you listening to me?" and Katniss is just looking at him like a mildly interesting piece of modern art. 

 

"What about Madge?" Katniss asks. Madge is her friend, too. Gale and Madge were crazy about each other. 

 

Gale hangs his head, "I couldn't." 

 

Katniss all but sneers, "What do you mean you _couldn't_?" She turns around and walks back into the kitchen, and leans on the counter, away from him."You were going to propose, Gale. Why did you do that to her?" 

 

"I didn't mean to, but I needed something. You weren't there." 

 

"You know very well why I wasn't there," she pauses, "And Madge isn't a something."

 

She can feel Gale behind her now, hovering, "And I said I was sorry, Katniss! How many times do I have to say it?" Katniss find it strange that he is the one mad at her, he left _her_ , but this is how it's always been with them. 

 

"I don't even want you to apologize anymore, because it's useless. You knew why I couldn't devote my time to _you,_ you know where I was! You knew what was going on, I told you word for word. You saw it. And Prim-" 

 

"Okay," Gale says to her back. She still doesn't turn around. She's pulling her fingers through the bread crumbs on the counter that she didn't bother to clean up. They're stale now, and crack under the tips of her fingers. "When I told Madge, I just thought-" 

 

"No. Don't talk to Madge again. Don't think about going back to her, I won't let you do it to her again," Katniss says. 

 

Gale starts to say something, but then stops. 

 

"Don't talk to me again, either. I don't want you." 

 

He leaves, barely making a sound when he closes the apartment door. 

 

\--- 

 

Katniss spends the rest of her night eating the unsliced half of French bread she bought earlier. She never finishes the wine, and simply eats the bread bite by bite, until it's all gone. 

 

It's still delicious. 

 

\--- 

 

The man stands up from the stool that's behind the pastry counter when she speaks. He sets down a sketchpad, drawing side down, and pushes up the sleeves to his plain, black shirt. She's back. She likes his baking. She's here, telling him. She doesn't know why, really, but she is.

 

"How do you know I made it?" the man asks. 

 

This never really occurred to Katniss. She just figured he had made it, kneaded the bread between his palms, made all the things inside the sweet-smelling bakery. She supposes now that he might only be one employee among a dozen or so, never even touched that bread before he sold it to her, he might only work the counter. 

 

"Oh," is all she says, she looks away from his eyes. 

 

Katniss can see the man smile from the corner of her eye, "It was me," he says with a laugh. "I'm the only one that can make baguettes the right way. Everyone else makes them crunchy all the way through, or too soft." 

 

She smiles back at him. "Do you own this place?" She thinks he does. 

 

"I do. It was my family's, but I got to inherit it. I practically grew up here," he trails off. 

 

Katniss looks around. She imagines a blonde little kid with buttercream frosting on his face, or flour covering his arms. Maybe a teenager frosting a cake for his girlfriend, the same color blue as his eyes. She thinks about this man making her bread. 

 

"I'm Katniss," she says, because she doesn't really have anything else to say. She can't very well tell him that he looks nice here, it looks happy with him here. Strangers don't say things like that. 

 

“I know,” he laughs awkwardly at Katniss’s perplexed expression, “Ah, I’m Peeta," he says. “I didn’t think you recognized me, but do you remember? We met once.” 

 

Her eyes go wide as saucers and suddenly she feels overwhelmingly stupid for not recognizing the boy- man. He’s a man now. 

 

Peeta coughs lightly, more likely to break the silence than to clear his throat. He quickly moves the conversation away from their unlikely reunion. "So, um, did you just come here to tell me how incredible my baking was? Or would you like something else?"  

 

Katniss feels caught, she doesn't really know why she's here. She just figured because the only thing not terrible about last night was the bread she had to come back. She definitely was not expecting to see the boy she couldn’t quite shake these past nine years, very much not a boy but still flashing that sweet smile. Now, she desperately racks her brain for a reason for her reappearance.

 

She looks at the display case, "Cupcakes might be nice." 

 

His constant smile seems to get bigger. 

 

\--- 

 

When Katniss gets home, she unties the red ribbon wrapped around the plain, white cardboard box holding a half dozen cupcakes. She insisted that he leave the ribbon off, she was the only one that was going to see these, but Peeta told her he " _wants all his customers to be completely satisfied_ ," and she thinks she can still feel the blush burning on her cheeks. Peeta blushed too, clearly not intending the words _that way_ , and it looked nice on his face, against his cornflower eyes and blonde hair. He just looked nice. 

 

Katniss sees an array of cupcakes, she told him to surprise her, so he made her close her eyes as he " _hmmed_ " over what cupcakes to choose. One is pink with a strawberry on top, she might see if Madge wants to come over and talk later, she'll like that one. There's one that looks like double chocolate, one with a thick buttercream, another that she hopes in pumpkin- she really likes pumpkin. The other two are one with a bright blue frosting, and another decorated with what she likes to think is a primrose. She smiles. 

 

She takes the double chocolate cupcake, and peels back the wrapper, only to find an envelope at the bottom of the box, uncovered by the space where the sixth cupcake used to be. She picks it up, and finds it unsealed. 

 

After putting her cupcake down, she opens it up to find the exact amount she paid for the cupcakes, plus three dollars. 

 

Katniss lets out a sound of genuine displeasure, and tells herself she has to go back tomorrow and tell this man- tell Peeta, that she is going to pay for his baked goods. 

 

Later, she decides she would be back there anyway. If not for the wonderful cupcakes, for his warm, easy smile. 

 

\--- 

 

He imagines her getting pretty mad about the money he left at the bottom of the cupcake box. He wishes he could see it. He liked the way her face got red when she argued with him over the French bread that night, and he's sure that this will get her even more riled up. 

 

He hopes to see her tomorrow morning. It's just about seven, and he's flipped the sign already when he hears a knock on the glass at the entrance to the bakery. 

 

He sees Katniss, looking pretty angry, and a girl with a wide smile on her face just behind her. Peeta laughs to himself, and strolls over to the door. By the look on Katniss' face, she knows he's taking his sweet time. 

 

Peeta opens the door for the two girls, and Katniss all but storms in, while the girl behind her giggles to herself, obviously amused by her companion. 

 

"Explain this!" Katniss hisses as she pulls the white envelope he left in the cupcake box from her jacket pocket. She's actually fuming, and Peeta thinks it might be the cutest thing he's ever seen in his life. The cutest, or maybe the sexiest. He's not sure yet. 

 

"Well, Miss Katniss, that's your money from the cupcakes and the bread the other day." 

 

The other girl laughs, but Katniss is having none of it. "I know that, Peeta. I'm perfectly capable of paying for that bread and the cupcakes. I want to pay for them." 

 

"Oh, I know that, but I just didn't want you to." 

 

"Why?" Katniss asks. She's crossed her arms again. It's adorable. 

 

Peeta never really thought this part through. He wanted to get her mad, because she's cute when she's mad, so he hid the money in the box. But he really didn't want her to pay for them, she was too special, and he’s been waiting since the day he was released from the hospital almost a decade ago to see her again. Peeta doesn't know what that means yet, but all he knows right now is that he wants to give something to this girl, and all he can logically give to her is his baked goods. Peeta can't tell her this, she didn’t even _recognize_ him, and he feels his face go red at the thought. 

 

"Who's your friend, Katniss?" he asks, hoping that she'll forget. 

 

She clearly doesn't, but also doesn't press the issue. 

 

"I'm Madge Undersee," says the other girl. She still has a telling smile on her face. "And you're Peeta." 

 

Peeta looks at Katniss, she must of told Madge about him, but she won't meet his gaze. "Yeah, Mellark, like the bakery." 

 

Madge smiles, and Katniss still looks like she ate an entire lemon. "I was wondering if you had anymore of those strawberry cupcakes? We didn't just come here to yell at you, you know," Madge says with a laugh. 

 

Peeta realizes Katniss must have shared some of the cupcakes with Madge, and for some reason, it makes him a little disappointed. Those were for her. Peeta realizes that he's overreacting, it's just cupcakes, and starts to head towards the door leading to the kitchen. "Yeah, there's a few left. I'll be right back," he calls over to the girls. 

 

He fills a box, the same type he used for Katniss' half dozen earlier with the five remaining strawberry cupcakes. As he's heading back out, he contemplates tying a bow around this one too, but he doesn't. These are for Madge. He doesn't want Katniss to see him treat them the same way, even if he would normally put a ribbon there for Madge.

 

As he comes back out, Madge is all but cackling, and Katniss' face is bright red- not with anger, but embarrassment. He lowers his brow a bit, but Katniss just looks down, and Madge laughs harder. 

 

"Five strawberry cupcakes, on the house!" he says as he hands the box to Madge. She looks delighted, and already is opening the box to eat one. 

 

"Peeta, stop it!" cries Katniss, and there she is, angry again. Peeta wants to kiss her. 

 

"Nuh-uh Katniss!" Madge says with a mouthful of cupcake, "These are mine! You have no say in this!" 

 

"Fine," Katniss says in defeat, "But this is staying here. If I find this on my nightstand tomorrow morning, I'm calling the police." 

 

Peeta laughs, and he thinks he sees Katniss crack a smile. 

 

They can all feel the visit coming to a close, so Madge hurries past the awkward silence, "Thank you so much, Peeta! I'm sure I'll be back for more of these!" she says, and Peeta notices she's almost done with the first cupcake already. He's impressed. 

 

"No problem Madge. Come back soon," he calls after Madge as she waves at him while walking out the door, "You too, Katniss. I hope I see you soon." 

 

She's still standing there, looking both amused and pissed off, and she looks up at him. She gives him a quiet, "Goodnight, Peeta," and walks out the door, bell ringing after her. 

 

As they're walking away, Peeta hears a muffled, "He's _cute!_ " through the glass of the window, and an unmistakable groan from Katniss.  

 

He takes the envelope, sliding it into the drawer next to the cash register. He'll see her soon. 

 

\--- 

 

"I don't see why you don't go for it," say Madge when they get back to Katniss' apartment. "He's adorable, and he totally likes you!" 

 

Katniss has been hearing about this the whole fifteen minutes it took them to walk home. The minute Katniss told Madge about the baker that showered her with free cupcakes, she made her tell the whole story, and reluctantly, Katniss did. That is, everything but their first encounter, years ago.  For whatever reason, she wants to keep that story to herself. “He does not like me, Madge. He gave you free cupcakes, too." 

 

Madge rolls her eyes as she finishes up her second cupcake, "He didn't even look at me, Kat. Not once- trust me, if he did, I'd be all over that!" 

 

"You just broke up with Gale!" Katniss cries. 

 

Madge gives her a look, "We said we wouldn't take about Gale. And besides, he broke up with me. I need depression sex, or something, whatever it's called. I don't know." Katniss can hear the little bit of sadness in her voice, but she doesn't push it. When she called Madge earlier today, she said she would come over, as long as they didn't talk about what happened. She doesn't blame Katniss, but she just doesn't want to dwell on it. " _I knew it all along,_ " Madge told her. " _I knew he wanted you, but it was okay. It was just a little fun. Just because_."  

 

Katniss knows that's not what it was for, at least for Madge. She doesn't press though. 

 

"Really, though," she continues, and Katniss thinks Madge is going to go for another cupcake, "You should at least talk to him, he seems sweet. He'll be good to you." 

 

"You just want free cupcakes," Katniss laughs. 

 

"This is true," Madge says, and she's really going to eat another cupcake, "But he's good. Real good." 

 

Katniss feels her mind drift, _she knows._

 

\--- 

 

Peeta doesn't take any days off for the next week, because she comes in every day. He doesn't want to miss her. 

 

She tries something new every day. She's had his apple tart, which she loved. He makes the cranberry bread again, and she takes three slices, because she says that she's never had anything like it. She doesn't like his coffee, says its too strong, and Peeta makes a lame joke about how it's strong like him. Katniss just stares blankly, accusing him of his pathetic joke, then laughs, loud and full. He thinks he saw her shining. 

 

All the while, he's thought of creative ways to get her to take the money back that she's used to pay for the baked goods. His favorite attempt was yesterday, when she paid with a twenty and he gave her back a fifty and two fives on top, probably way over what she's spent here, and he almost got away with it. 

 

She gave him an A for effort. 

 

Today, she picks a Boston Creme doughnut and he finally finds the courage to ask her out for dinner, " _or something,_ " he adds on, and he can feel his blush. He really just wants her to say yes, he'd probably go do something really terrible, like shopping, if she really wanted to. He likes her. 

 

Katniss looks at him for a minute, almost studying him, making sure he means it, as if he's just kidding, as if he didn't really want this. 

 

She gives him a simple, "Yes," and he beams at her, tells her he'll pick her up at seven on Saturday, if that's okay, and it'll be casual. She says that's fine, gives him her address, and he asks if she's okay with walking, since she lives so close. She says yes again, and asks him if she wants her date of birth and social security number while he's at it, and he blushes again, deep red. 

 

"Bye, Peeta!" she calls as she leaves the bakery, and Peeta waves out the window, hoping she sees him, his face still burning like a teenager. 

 

Greasy Sae, the old woman who'd been working at the bakery since before he was born, trudges out of the kitchen. She has clumps of bread dough and flour stuck on her old, wrinkly, hands, and he wonders why she's still working here. 

 

"Finally get the girl to go on a damn date with you?" she asks. She's been here every day since Tuesday, watched them talk and her refuse the money he tries to force on her. 

 

"Yes," he mutters, feeling like he's been scolded by his grandmother. For all intents and purposes, he pretty much is. 

 

"Good," says Greasy Sae. She wipes her hands on her dirty apron, "You better hope if she ever takes that money, she marries you," she says with a smirk. "You'd let her eat at this place free for a lifetime. That's quite the investment for the woman you're not trying to marry." 

 

Peeta shakes his head, Sae's always known him too well. He would let her eat the whole bakery, as long as Katniss always smiled when she took the first bite. 

 

\--- 

 

Madge practically squeals when she hears Katniss has a date with Peeta on Saturday. 

 

"Oh, we should go shopping tomorrow!" she declares. "We can buy a cute dress, or something! I can see if Portia will get you a haircut, too." 

 

"It's casual, Madge," says Katniss, "I'm not marrying the guy." 

 

"I don't know, I think you should. You could have cupcakes instead of a wedding cake!" 

 

Katniss blushes, "He makes wedding cakes, too. He decorates them." She doesn't add that they're pretty, beautiful really. She'll just get Madge going on another tangent. "Besides, I'm seeing Prim tomorrow. I haven't gone since Sunday." 

 

Katniss can almost feel Madge go serious through the phone. "How's she doing? Do you want me to come? I'd like to see her too, I haven't gone for a month." 

 

"She's doing alright. No better, no worse. You can tag along if you want, but I'll probably go sometime during the week too, if you don't want to waste a Friday." 

 

"That's not a waste of a Friday," says Madge, and Katniss knows she's sincere.   

 

Katniss goes to bed early that night, she wants to catch an early train out.  

 

She's up by five, and gets to the station by 5:30. The next train is at 6. 

 

She knows Peeta will already be at the bakery, he tells her he gets there early every day to set up. Too early. 

 

She figures she has enough time, and crosses the street to the familiar bakery. It's already open, at it's the busiest she's ever seen it. The small shop can barely fit everyone, and Peeta's working the counter with a big smile on his face. He loves this place. Katniss ignores the knowledge she has, the one that explains why he loves it so much.

 

Katniss wonders what she's doing here, what's she's doing with him. She doesn't have Prim with her everyday, she doesn't have Prim with her at all really. She laughs at the thought of her mother. Everything with Gale is ruined. She has Madge, but it's not the same, not the closeness or the tenderness she needs. 

 

Katniss doesn't want to just want Peeta because she's lonely, he's too nice, but she needs it. She needs a warm smile from someone that isn't going to just leave her, or is on their way out. 

 

 _Don't think that way,_ she tells herself. _You can't think that way about Prim._

 

"Katniss?" says Peeta, and she realizes she's the next in line. 

 

"Hi, bread boy." She's taken to calling him this, he did, after all, give her bread, and she gets the added bonus of his blush every time she says it. 

 

"What are you doing here this early? Never took you for an early riser." 

 

"I'm going to see my sister, I want to pick up something for her. Do you have one of those cupcakes with the flowers on it, again? Like the one you gave me in the half-dozen?" she asks. She wants one for Prim, with the flower that looks like a primrose. It's cheesy, but it's something that will make Prim smile, even if she can't eat it. She remembers, fleetingly, all those years ago, the kindness Peeta would show towards Prim, and she sees the smile of Peeta’s face at the mention of her sister. 

 

"I haven't decorated any yet, but I can," he offers. 

 

"No, don't take any time for-" 

 

"Delly! Come work the register for a minute or two!" Peeta calls into the back, and a short, curvy girl with wispy blonde hair all but skips out of the kitchen. Peeta goes back, presumably to decorate her cupcake. 

 

The blonde girl looks at her, "You're Katniss, huh?" she asks, a big smile on her face. 

 

"Yeah, how'd you know?" 

 

Delly laughs, "Oh, I'd know from a mile a way. Peeta practically is floating when you come in here, or when he talks about you." 

 

"I don't think you should've told me that," she mumbles to the laminate floor. 

 

"Like you didn't know." 

 

"How much for the cupcake," asks Katniss, pulling her wallet out of her purse. 

 

"Peeta told me not to charge you, or I'm fired," she smirks. 

 

She groans, "He's ridiculous. Really, just let me pay. I won't tell him." She's actually begging, while Delly looks on with smile. 

 

"Nope!" she pop's the 'P.' "Orders from the boss, I'll be in big trouble." 

 

Katniss sighs. She's not going to get stern with this girl like she does with Peeta. Besides, she obviously enjoying herself. This must be fun to hear about everyday, anyway. 

 

Peeta come out of the kitchen with a perfectly decorated cupcake, white with a yellow flower, a primrose, on top. He grabs a small box, puts the cupcake in with some pastry paper and a few pieces of purple tissue paper, and ties it up with a yellow ribbon.  

 

"The best, for Prim,” he says as he presents her with the box. Of course he didn’t forget her name.

 

Katniss smiles, "Thanks, Peeta. But stop brainwashing your employees. Delly over here actually made me feel guilty for trying to pay for a cupcake." 

 

"That's what I like to hear! I guess I'm hiring them right these days," Peeta says and he holds his hand up for a high five. Delly returns one, laughing with the both of them.  

 

"Thank you both, it was nice to meet you Delly," Katniss says, cautious of the clock. "I'll see you Saturday, Peeta!" 

 

"Tell your sister I said hello!" Peeta calls back, watching her walk out. 

 

Delly looks at him, a smirk replacing her regular smile, "Oh, Sae was right! Mellark, you got it _bad."_

 

Peeta ruffles her hair, ignoring her protests, "Yeah, I'm not too upset about it." 

 

\--- 

 

Katniss gets to the hospital at half past seven.

 

Visiting hours don't normally start until eight, but the nurses know her so well by now, they don't mind letting her in a little early. Besides, they all adore her sister, everyone does really, so she doesn't have to worry about waiting. 

 

Prim is awake when she gets to the room, and she frowns. She should be resting, not watching traffic reports and and doing crosswords from yesterday's newspaper. 

 

"Hey, Kat," says Prim when she walks it. She doesn't look as skinny as usual, so that makes Katniss feel a little better. 

 

"Hey little duck, how are you feeling?" Katniss seats herself on the side of Prim's bed, and starts to stroke her long, blonde hair. Prim swats her hand away. 

 

"Oh stop it, Katniss," laughs Prim, never truly upset, "I'm a grown woman!" 

 

Katniss hugs her anyway, careful of the tubes and wires, "Nope, you're my little sister and you always will be!" Prim groans, but hugs her back.  

 

"Is that a pastry box?" asks Prim, clearly excited by the concept of something that isn't hospital food. She doesn't bother to wait for an answer, and rips the box from Katniss' hands. She opens it slowly, like it's made of gold. "This is pretty! I don't even want to eat it!" 

 

Katniss laughs, "Oh you should, it's just as good as it looks!" Prim brings the box to her face, and sniffs. She's lets out a soft " _Mmmm._ " The hospital food must be getting worse.  

 

"Where did you get it? The grocery store makes some pretty sad looking cupcakes, can't be from there." 

 

“Funny story, actually, Mellark's Bakery, it's across from the train station near my apartment. Peeta made it." 

 

Prim tips her head a little, and narrows her eyes, “Peeta Mellark? The boy I shared a room with that time-“ 

 

Katniss cuts her off quickly, "Yes, that Peeta Mellark. Funny, right? He says hello by the way. He remembers you too.” 

 

“You’re talking to him? Wait, he was pretty cute! Are you _seeing_ him?” 

 

Katniss knows very well she is terrible liar and figures Prim will call her out if she tries, so she looks down at the tiled floor while she mumbles, “It’s not that big of deal, we have our first date tomorrow.” 

 

"Please, Kat, we all know you haven't dated since Gale. This is big news." 

 

She folds her arms, "Who says I'm even dating Peeta?" 

 

"You're the worst liar ever, Katniss. I'll get the details out of you by the end of the day." 

 

And Prim does. Katniss tells her all about Peeta and the bakery, and about what happened with Gale and Madge. Prim nods, taking it all in. She wants to see Peeta again. Katniss says it's not serious like that, they're friends. Prim scoffs, and repeats that she wants to see him. He did ask her sister on a date after all, and sent over a hello to her, and not to mention Prim probably knows his 16 year old counterpart just as well as Katniss knows his 25 year old self. She's _entitled,_ she says.

 

They sit and watch _The Price is Right,_ and then a bunch of Spanish soaps that Prim can just barely translate, and Katniss makes up fake lines too. Prim tells her about a cute new doctor on the floor. 

 

When Prim goes to eat the cupcake, Katniss is pleased. She's happy Prim can eat, again. She knows these visits aren't a big deal at all, they just drain Prim of energy and take up a lot of time, but she worries all the same. It's what she has to do, because her mother doesn't worry at all. She worries for the both of them. 

 

"Hey, Katniss," Prim asks after she's taken the paper and the cupcake out of the box, "Why is there a hundred dollar bill in here?" 

 

"Peeta, you asshole," Katniss says under her breath. Prim laughs. 

 

\--- 

 

 

Saturday night, Katniss is getting ready for her date- no, is it a date? She thinks it's a date. She doesn't know if she wants it to be a date. With Peeta. 

 

She tries not to think too hard about _them_ , but it's hard not to when she's attempting to look pretty for him. She tries curling her hair, but only Madge can do it right, so she ends up braiding her hair over one shoulder, like usual. It looks messy, she hates it.  

 

Katniss doesn't put on any makeup, mostly because she doesn't want to try to impress him. Doesn't really know if she wants to impress him. She pulls on a forest green sweater, dark jeans, her worn Doc Martins. 

 

She looks fine.  

 

She figures fine is good enough, she doesn't want to become someone that lives for him. Like her mother lived for her father. She can't get attached because there is a thing out there that can take him away from her in a blink of an eye. There is a terrible, dark, heavy thing that attaches her to people and rips them apart, leaving only a waxy residue to remind her of what she once had. The hardest thing is knowing that Peeta has as much taken away as she has.

 

Peeta is at her apartment at seven, promptly, and he's brought her primroses. He looks a little embarrassed, but presents them to her proudly. She loves them.

 

And he didn't get her katniss, the few guys came before him tried to do. 

 

"I'll put these in a vase, come in," she says, and Katniss is happy she won't dump these flowers in into the trash after some ridiculous date with a guy she doesn't like. She almost wishes he brought her katniss.

 

She pulls out a crystal vase from under the sink, some present from her mother, _who buys their daughter a vase,_ and she fills it with water. The primroses go in next, and she lays them evenly against the sides of the vase. It's pretty, and it's nice. 

 

Katniss sets the vase on the counter, and turns to Peeta, "Ready?" 

 

He nods, and puts an arm around her shoulder as the walk to the restaurant. 

 

\--- 

 

It's a little Italian place that doesn't really look like much at all, but the food's incredible. Peeta tells her that they use his bread here. He looks proud. She thinks it's sweet. 

 

She tells him about her job, which up until now, they've never discussed. She works from home, most of the time, putting together guide for campers and hunters. What kind of animals live where, how do you find them, that frog is poisonous, don't let it near you. Then the plant books. What kind of berries you can eat, what herbs do what, do not touch that, you'll itch for days. 

 

He laughs, because he's always seen her as an outdoorsy person, a huntress, he says, and then he blushes. Katniss likes that, a huntress. She's fierce where Peeta is sweet. It makes her feel warm. 

 

This dinner is where Peeta learns about her father. 

 

Killed in a hunting accident. He liked to wear browns and greens, didn't like to scare off the deer. Katniss' dad liked to hunt deer the best, but rarely ever got them. When he did though, he was ecstatic, and Katniss can still see him dragging a dear home with Gale's dad. But one day only Gale's dad came home because another hunter heard her dad rustle, and he shot, thinking he was the deer and there was no hope, it was clear through the head. 

 

Peeta grabs her hand on the table. Katniss feels warmer. 

 

Katniss doesn’t need to tell Peeta about Prim, but she does anyway.

 

She's her baby sister, she says, with long blonde hair. She's beautiful, and so sweet. She thinks that Prim is a bit like Peeta, but she doesn't say that. 

 

She tells Peeta about how Prim is drowning in her own body, how she needs to get a new set of lungs. The doctors say after they replace them Prim's got about ten years. Ten years to live a life, and Katniss wonders how she's going to live hers. 

 

This isn't the night Peeta was expecting. He wasn't expecting to see shiny, teary, gray eyes or realize Katniss is so sad. Peeta doesn't like that, but he can't do much about it. He can't bring back her father or give Prim his lungs. He wishes. 

 

Katniss coughs, and like that it's over. She's joking and laughing, and finishing the rest of her wine. At the end of the night, Katniss pulls out his hundred dollar bill to pay with, and Peeta tries as hard as he can to not let her pay, but they end up making a scene in the restaurant, Peeta halfway stretched across the table and Katniss holding the bill over her head, laughing so hard she has tears streaming down her face. The waitress comes over and asks if they're okay, and Katniss says they're good, keep the change, and she wishes she could've seen the waitresses face when she realized the tip she got on behalf of Peeta. 

 

As they walk out, Peeta slips his big hand into hers, and say he's happy she can outsmart him like that. She tells him it doesn't really take much. 

 

\--- 

 

Peeta asks if Katniss wants to go back to his apartment for dessert. 

 

"What kind of dessert, bread boy?" Katniss raises her eyebrows at him, winks, and he stutters and blushes. 

 

"Oh God, not like that. No, Katniss. Not now, I didn't mean-" 

 

She puts a hand on his cheek, "I know, I'm being silly. Of course I want to come over for dessert. What did you make me?" 

 

He leads her up to his apartment, which is only a block down from hers. It's a loft, nicer than hers, and has a beautiful kitchen and an even more beautiful mahogany kitchen table. She sits down at the head of the table, in the big seat, and it almost swallows her. She pulls her bare feet up to the chair, and hugs her knees. 

 

She thinks about why she told him those things. About Prim, he dad. She realizes quickly it's because he needs to understand- there's something controlling her. Them. He needs to know that she's grasping at all of this but coming up empty. He has to know that all of this is beyond her control, and she's already lost enough- is going to lose more. She tells herself this, says that she's using him, pretending, because she needs something right now besides Madge and her smiles and nudges and Prim in a white washed room with Spanish soaps. She tells herself all of this, over and over, but she gets the distinct feeling this isn't all pretend. 

 

She sits on the chair and observes the room, him. 

 

"It's so _warm,_ " she says. He asks if she wants him to turn down the heat. 

 

She laughs, "No, I mean it's warm, cozy. Like a real home." _Like you_ , she thinks.  

 

She hears the microwave turn on, and she gasps. 

 

"Peeta! You're a baker! Aren't microwaves forbidden?" 

 

"Not when I'm making you a brownie sundae, unless you don't want the ice cream to melt," he says. 

 

Katniss gives up, because that's a pretty good reason to cheat. 

 

While he's scooping the ice cream and adding whatever he needs to add to the sundae, she looks at the pictures hanging up on the wall. She sees what she supposes to be his family, all light haired and freckled like him. His brothers look like him, so much like him. Stocky build, not too tall, warm smiles. She recognizes his mom seems too statuesque, too frigid to belong. His father reminds her of Santa, without the gray, the beard, and most of the fat. He looks kind. 

 

She sees a picture of him in a leg brace, holding a high school diploma, in a cap and unzipped gown. He's wearing a shirt and tie and it looks foreign on him. She doesn’t have to ask what happened. She wonders if they’ll ever really talk about knowing each other, however briefly, before she stopped in the bakery that day. 

 

She can hear his heavy gait behind her, and she turns around and looks at him with softened eyes. He seems to understand what she’s trying to say.

 

"It was almost ten years ago. It's okay. Besides, I got to take over the bakery full-time, like I always wanted. My mother moved back with her family in Kentucky. I stayed. She never really wanted me to stay at the bakery, she wanted me to go to college and get some big successful job where I'd have to wear a suit. She was never really okay with simple dreams. She used to get mad when my father refused to franchise the bakery. When my they died and I graduated, there was no obligation for her here, so she moved. I already knew how to run the bakery, I basically lived and breathed it for as long as I was tall enough to reach the counter. Maybe even before that.  I lost her with them but I'm not upset. Not really." 

 

Peeta is looking down at his shoes, and Katniss knows he's a lot more upset than he leads on. She takes his hand, and he finally looks at her, clear blue eyes at all. 

 

He smiles and hands her the sundae, the ice cream a little runny, but it looks delicious. She asks if he's going to have some, too, and he laughs and pulls out a spoon and they share it. Katniss thinks that there is nothing that this man can't bake, the chocolate smooth on her tongue, so rich. She tells him how good it is, and he gets that proud look on his face, like he was put on this earth to make bread and sweets for her. She feels both delighted and trapped. 

 

When they're done, she tells him about her mother. How after her father died, she checked out, and Katniss stepped in. She took Prim to her "draining"- a name Katniss hates but Prim laughs at, cooked, cleaned, did just about everything. Her mom was off going out on dates with men within the year, never really saying anything about them, a strange routine. She doesn't hate her mom, but she feels some sort of resentment for her. When her mom finally came back from wherever she was, she started looking after Prim, and Katniss was free, at least is theory, of her motherly duty to Prim. And now she was here. 

 

She tells it all flatly, blankly, like she's repeating a recipe. She convinces herself again this is all play-pretend. Her mother let the thing take her and now look at her- she's half a person at most. Katniss can't give into this thing, she can't. She tells herself over and over, the more she loves the more she loses. 

 

The more she says it the less meaning it holds.

 

\--- 

 

She spends the night at his place.

 

They don't sleep together, because as much as Peeta feels like he wants this girl forever, and no matter how strong Katniss' feeling of closeness to him is, they know they can't rush it. So they fall asleep on his big leather sofa together, warm under a quilt that smells like brown sugar. He has his face tucked into her neck, and he unties her braid so he can bury his nose in her hair. She tries to protest, saying it will be messy and it knots in the morning, but he insists he'll comb it out for her, this is what he wants. 

 

She stops fighting with him then. He deserves something too. 

 

He puts on some soft music, pianos and an acoustic guitar, and he's surprised and delighted when Katniss sings along. She blushes when he says her voice is beautiful, and hides her face against his chest when he calls her beautiful. 

 

He pulls her head up by the chin, and looks are her soft, gray eyes. 

 

"Katniss," he breathes, and he waits for her to look away, to pull away. She doesn't, and then he kisses her soft and long and full on the mouth. She responds lightly, and he moves a hand up into her free hair. She moves her hand up against his cheek and then to play with the hair at the back of his neck and he makes some pathetic noise in the back of his throat. Katniss smiles against his lips. It's pretend, she tells herself. She can't, she won't. But she's still so warm, and for a second, when their lips touched, she forgot about it all.  

 

They break apart and fall asleep before the music stops playing. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My life has been alarmingly busy for the past however long since I posted this story (I'm sure it's an embarrassingly long time ago) and I want to apologize to anyone who was counting on quick updates. However, I have found myself with two weeks of time to do nothing, and perhaps I will be able to finish this story after all. I hope you all will be patient, and I appreciate all your kind words and encouragement. xoxo


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